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World Updates If world politics was social networking... Click the "Suggest status" button to join in. IMPORTANT WORLDFACE ANNOUNCEMENT, PLEASE CLICK HERE TO READ worldface Hey guys, sorry to break this to you, but don't get too comfy, Worldface is not back for good, we're just doing some cleaning, before publishing the "best of" Posted: 28th Jul at 21:06 by Teamfishcake Comment     Like This        Report offensive content Russia set off a 'dirty bomb' in Daugavpils. Posted: 15th Feb at 22:26 Comment     Like This        Report offensive content Latvia retaliated with carpet bombing of Dubrovka. Posted: 15th Feb at 22:21 by thexray Comment     Like This        Report offensive content Russia There are four places called Dubrovka inside my territory. Please be more specific. Bosnia and Herzegovinia How about all of them at once? Hong Kong declares independance! Posted: 15th Feb at 22:14 Comment     Like This        Report offensive content Russia just dropped napalm on Riga. Posted: 15th Feb at 22:14 Comment     Like This        Report offensive content United States of America lol, what's that I see there now? Is that France reading a bedtime story to UK's kids? OMFG WTF ROFL Posted: 15th Feb at 22:11 Comment     Like This        Report offensive content France You don't like my bedtime story? United States of America It's about unicorns... rofl...anyway, I don't need to. It's for UK's kids. Sweden is currently ecstatic. Americaricaricarica~ Posted: 15th Feb at 22:11 Comment     Like This        Report offensive content United States of America Here I am! Sweden [awe] And blindingly bright as always, it seems. *o* United States of America So, nice place you have here, Sweden. Anyway, I've been thinking. Would you perhaps like to become one of my states, since we seem to be so close anyway? Finland dislike. Perkele, Sweden, what the hell? I thought we were through this already - STOP. Sucking up to. America. Sweden @America;; All thanks to you! ..D-do you really want me to do that? I want to be close to you, America; study your charming culture, mimick your customs! @Finland;; But he has always been such an inspiration for me. :C and he asked me to become his sta Sweden state! Fffffph. I'm sorry, I really liked hanging with you guys and all, but maybe it's time to take a new step... accept the inevitable. Go American. United States of America Sweden, it would be an honour for me if you agreed. I believe we can do so much great together! Switzerland is sick of people randomly obsessing over his thighs and marrying him out of the blue when he is definitely /engaged/. Posted: 15th Feb at 22:03 Comment     Like This        Report offensive content Canada Don't worry. I'm not interested in your thighs and also do not wish to marry you at all. China recommends blowing up the offending nations. Switzerland Thank you, Canada. Though, China, I don't think starting a war and killing thousands would be an appropriate response to sexual harassment. China I was thinking millions more than thousands... or you could just launch something nasty and biological in their general direction. Russia takes back all its federal oblasts. Posted: 15th Feb at 22:03 Comment     Like This        Report offensive content Albania dislikes this. Switzerland dislike. NATO lol. No, you don't. Russia Yes I do, NATO. GREAT RUSSIA HAS WELDED FOREVER! NATO More like failed forever. Russia NATO, do you really want a sea of nuclear hellfire? Because I /will/ provide it. Switzerland Russia, I find it unfathomable to rain down nuclear hellfire on an /organisation/. Russia By blowing up the relevant organisation's member states. NATO @Switzerland: But Russia's a n00b. He thinks it's cool. Albania @Russia: As a NATO member, I can tell you that won't be happening. Russia Albania you are small and insignificant. I will squash you like a bug. Croatia @Russia: You're big and still insignificant. So what now? Russia @Croatia: Now you say goodbye to Zagreb. Albania Russia, don't even /bother/ trying anything. Russia Albania. I will blow your territory into bits. Watch it. Slovenia Russia, you can go to Cambodia to mow jam and lift sponges, you amateur! Saint Helena I am soooo lonely. Posted: 15th Feb at 21:54 Comment     Like This        Report offensive content Sint Maarten So am I... :( Saint Helena Let's get together to do some praying... Sint Maarten What a great idea. Haiti marries Switzerland for the dowry! :D Posted: 15th Feb at 21:54 Comment     Like This        Report offensive content United Nations rules the marriage void. Haiti But I need the monies. D: UN, you meanie! United Nations Switzerland's engaged. Sorry. Greece Don't whine, Haiti. I need monies too. And yet I don't go around randomly marrying whoever has them. Haiti What?? And Greece, that's no way to live life! Go spontaneously marry someone with money! Russia just blew up Vilnius with a biological warhead. Posted: 15th Feb at 21:41 Comment     Like This        Report offensive content Thailand But Russki, the federal subjects... your country is pretty much broken now, wouldn't suggest picking fights with those mightier than you. Heehee, UN.. Latvia Does that mean I can be rebellious, too? Hah, listen, Russia (should I even call you Russia anymore?), I always kind of hated you... .... ... .... ...... .... ...oh, that felt good. United Nations recommends that UK get surgery for alcohol poisoning *looks at the floor*... and a mop. Posted: 15th Feb at 21:38 Comment     Like This        Report offensive content United Kingdom Nobody... and I mean nobody... is gunna touch... me... ughhh... France Come on, you need to go sleep now. Leave that bottle be already! United Kingdom But it's... not doneeee. France But you're done alright. Sleep it is. Now. *takes bottle away* Puerto Rico Stop, Montserrat! You are driving me crazy with the ashes!!!!!! Posted: 15th Feb at 21:33 Comment     Like This        Report offensive content Montserrat Aw come on, don't act like you don't like me :( Puerto Rico I like you, but I can barely breathe here! Montserrat Uh, I'm sorry? I can't really control it, you know... United Nations This Organisation recognises the independence of the 83 Federal Subjects of the Russian Federation. Posted: 15th Feb at 21:30 Comment     Like This        Report offensive content Georgia What does that mean now? Should I rejoice or use vulgar words? United Nations A Federal Subject in Russia is basically equivalent to a state in the USA. I've just made them all seperate independent countries. Georgia That's probably the coolest thing you ever did, UN. All hail the UN! Switzerland would like you all to congratulate Didier Defago. :D Posted: 15th Feb at 21:22 by x Comment     Like This        Report offensive content Switzerland I agree with the other me. :/ Switzerland is kind of lonely. It seems that Austria is busy again… Posted: 15th Feb at 21:15 Comment     Like This        Report offensive content Laos You know, Vietnam had a good point about your thighs last night... France /I'll/ come play with you, chaton. ;) Switzerland Wh-? Laos, not you too… Thailand Laos! Are you trying to cheat on me there? Switzerland France, shove off. Please. European Union Fraaanceeeeee....remember the basement... Albania @Laos: Speaking of Vietnam... I heard she wanted to speak to you. So shoo. Albania proposes a free trade agreement between the Protectorate (including Kosovo) and Switzerland. Posted: 15th Feb at 21:09 Comment     Like This        Report offensive content Switzerland Works for me. United Nations The Russian Federation and the United States of America will /stop/ trying to provoke each other. Russia has no legal control over Lithuania. Posted: 15th Feb at 21:07 Comment     Like This        Report offensive content United States of America I'm only standing up for myself and Lithuania. No provoking there. United Nations You're both snapping at each other and I really don't want the world to end. So stop. United States of America Well tell that to Russia. I won't just stand there letting him threaten and insult me. It's my right to defend. Russia Hey now. America's the one deliberately trying to carve up my sphere of influence. United States of America There are no spheres of influence. Russia Yes there are; and I'd thank /you/ to keep your nose out of mine. United States of America No, there are not. The only area you can influence is The Russian Federation. Nothing more. Russia On the contrary. I have many places I can influence, both inside and outside Europe. And if you /are/ right - you have no influence anywhere but the United States. So keep your nose out. Sweden @Russia: ...America influences ME. United States of America Yes, you have many places to influence. Inside your deranged mind. Go cry in a corner now. United States of America Oh hi Sweden! Nice to see ya again ;) How ya doin'? Russia Let's see... China, the ex-Soviet states in Central Asia, Trans'dnister, Abkhazia and Ossetia... and Lithuania. Should I continue? United States of America Too bad you're the only one who thinks so. Wake up. No once cares about you nowadays. Russia No, America. Being as ignorant about world affairs as you is the only reason someone would think that. United Nations Will you two give it a rest? This is a lovely planet and I want to keep it in one piece. Thank you. United States of America I think you confuse me for yourself. Still living in the soviet times, huh? United States of America @UN: Please dissolve Russia into very small pieces. He gets on the nerves of anyone here. Russia Who's saying I can't /return/ to Soviet times? Sweden @America: ...Hi.~ 8D I'm doing well, aside from all the snow. And you, and you? Oh, also - be a doll and please produce more tv-shows that I can rip off? My shows are starting to get boring again. United States of America Anything for you, Sweden, anything for you~ and @Russia: Everyone. Sweden @America: Sweet.~ I, uh... Kind of promised Finland (and EU) not to take after you anymore, though, but it's so harddd. They just don't understand. United States of America Yes, I know. I mean, what we have is so special. Who else could understand us, Sweden? Sweden Nobody can! You're a star, America, andand I've gotten increasingly more popular thanks to you. C: I've even got tourists here, now, I saw them down at Mc D's! United States of America Oh, I'm really happy for you, Sweden! Tourists, you say? Wow. What about I visit you, too? Sweden .../You/, America? Visit me? I-it--it would be an honor! You're welcome anytime! United States of America Aw, thank you a lot, Sweden. I've wanted to do so for some time now... Sweden This is... I... It's going to be so great and fun and amazing! United States of America I certainly hope so! United Kingdom doesn't want any more kids. Where is all the alcohol... Posted: 15th Feb at 21:05 Comment     Like This        Report offensive content France Try protection? It's easy, you know. United Kingdom Wine. Give me your wine. France Sure, UK. If that's what you wish. Here. United Kingdom drinks it. Gah... I want more. I can still see things. France :o What things, l'Angleterre? *Hands more wine* United Kingdom Everything. The table, my hand; everything is still clear. *drinks more* I want everything to be blurry. Russia How about a nice bottle or ten of premium vodka? France Mon Dieu, l'Angleterre! What happened to you? It must have been quite terrible. Come on, confide in me. It will relieve you. United Kingdom @Russia: Yeah, sure, give it to me. @France: I don't want to confide in you, I want to confide in your wine. Cayman Islands MUMMY WHAT ARE YOU DOING? D: United Kingdom ...*slumps* France Uh, l'Angleterre...I think you might have had enough... Russia Oops. That wasn't vodka. *nervous laugh* United Kingdom NO! Give me moreeee... France Seriously. Only if you tell me what happened. How can I help you otherwise? Surely not by getting you drunk. United Kingdom One of my kids wants to rape me and the other one wants to rape him! I have relationship problems, I have too many kids to begin with... AND AMERICA. THAT BASTARD! THERE. NOW GIVE ME THE FUCKING WINE. Guhhh... France Wow. That sounds quite serious. Have a wine on that. And go on. What did l'Amérique do? United Kingdom HE... HE... *drinks* is an asshole! He's so fucking cocky, and... nnghhhh... AGHH! FUCK AMERICA! I don't need him! Bermuda Uh, mummy? Is that you? Why are you lying on the ground? France You are absolutely right, l'Angleterre. Don't worry, though. You don't need anyone when you have me- er, I mean, my wine. United Kingdom Ugh... Bermuda... don't bother mummy right now... *slumps more* United Kingdom @France: WINE. GIVE ME MORE WINEEEE. I... can still see... my kid... France Of course you can see it, l'Angleterre. It's right here. Here, a bit more wine. But I'm afraid you will have to stop soon. Wouldn't want you to get intoxicated, now, would we? South Georgia and The South Sandwich Islands Mummy, are you okay? :C United Kingdom GAAAAHH. *breaks the empty wine bottles and continues to empty out more* Fuck! ...Auughhh. France Don't worry, children, I'll take care of your mummy for now. You can just go to sleep or play...or what is it that you do. Albania @UK: Remember the last time you went on the piss? Actually you probably don't, but anyway... that's when America, uhh, took advantage of you, so to speak. United Kingdom @Albania: Who are y-- AMERICA? WHERE? WHERE IS HE, I NEED TO HIT HIM WITH THESE B-- *puke* France Now, Albania, what kind of intruding is this? Shoo. Albania @France: No. France @Albania: You should know by now I have better self-control than l'Amerique. Really. @UK: Uh, come here. No more alcohol for you. Let's get you to bed. You need to sleep now. United Kingdom Sleep... right... NO! MY BABIES!! GUHH DSFJKGSD I HAVE TO READ THEM BEDTIME... stories... France Oh, l'Angleterre. Just let me do that. I can't imagine how you would read bedtime stories in your current state. Actually, I can't imagine how you would do anything in your current state. United Kingdom Ugh... France... I used to think you were... A COMPLETE ASS. But you're okay... you're okay... *slump* France Why, l'Angleterre. Thank you. Too bad you only say so when smashed terribly like this. *sigh* United Kingdom Tell my kids... the story about the... unicorn... ugh... *falls asleep* France Sure. About the unicorn it is, kiddies. *takes the book and reads* China w-wants Taiwan's bubble tea. Posted: 15th Feb at 20:59 Comment     Like This        Report offensive content Taiwan Sure, here you are :) Want some nice porn with it, too? China Thanks! No, thank you! Are you going to bomb something yet? ;u; Taiwan No, thanks. I have different interests now. China ....A-A-Alright, then. *walks away, drinking it* North Korea Taiwan! Come on, blow shit up. I'll show you how it's done. *nukes Kaohsiung* Taiwan Go away N. Korea. Bother S. Korea or what. I'm drinking tea with UK now. Switzerland would have been back much sooner if his waitress hadn't been snogging her boyfriend rather than getting him his check. And they didn't even have fondue. I'm never going back there. Posted: 15th Feb at 20:51 Comment     Like This        Report offensive content Belgium What a traumatic experience that must have been. Switzerland Oh, and they had Hershey's chocolate for their chocolate cheesecake. Neither Swiss nor Belgian. I was appalled. United Kingdom May I have Roger Federer, now? Belgium @Switzerland: It must have been some third-rate establishment, in that case. Switzerland I must decline, UK. United Kingdom ...It was worth a try. Switzerland @Belgium: I'm sure that they would have been honoured to be addressed as such. Switzerland @UK: I'm sorry. Belgium @Switzerland: They should have seen it coming. What else could you call a place where they don't even have Belgian or Swiss chocolate? United Kingdom Eh... I'm sure Andy Murray will shape up. Eventually. And not cry... dear God, who am I kidding? Switzerland A dump would be a good word to describe it. Liechtenstein seemed to enjoy it, though; so we'll probably be going more often. -sigh- Albania Switzerland... I should probably tell you... Iraq blew up half of Geneva... *points a few statuses down* Switzerland Iraq is an asshole. And I blew him up already, I just had the class not to post a status about it. United Kingdom would like to try some of Taiwan's bubble tea. Posted: 15th Feb at 20:48 Comment     Like This        Report offensive content Taiwan Sure. Here you are. Do you want some nice porn with it, too? United Kingdom No thanks, I have enough. Now what are these little things in my tea? Taiwan Um...tea leaves? United Kingdom Not the leaves, these... balls. :| Taiwan oh, don't worry about those. They are there to enhance the taste...and make you feel reeeeal good :) United Kingdom This is good. But what are they made of? Taiwan They're from those special herbs, you see...don't worry, it's all natural. United Kingdom You know, you were a lot different the last time I met you. Taiwan Oh. I guess. I have been cured since then. I feel a lot better now. United Kingdom Good to hear, you were really... violent. Taiwan I'm sorry :( I didn't mean it like that... Russia I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me, Papa- Paparazzi... Posted: 15th Feb at 20:44 Comment     Like This        Report offensive content China Creeper. Russia I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me, Papa- Paparazzi... Posted: 15th Feb at 20:44 Comment     Like This        Report offensive content View Older Statuses

Disclaimer: If you're stupid enough to mistake this parody for a certain popular social networking website (that will remain nameless), then please leave now, don't bother with your coat, JUST BUGGER OFF! Worldface is interactive, which means you can add your own bitingly satirical statuses and comments. Any inappropriate, offensive or just plain rubbish suggestions will be immediately rejected. During busy periods (and overnight GMT) there may be a delay in publishing new status suggestions. Switzerland has created the group We know what time it is Join/Leave this group Kyrgyzstan has joined the group Freedom Expo: No COmmies Allowed! Join/Leave this group Kosovo has created the group Down with the EU! Join/Leave this group Switzerland , Flavor Flav, Chicco and M.C Hammer joined the group "We know what time it is" NATO Luxembourg and 27 other Countries have joined this Group Lisbon Treaty 1st Dec 2009 27 countries are attending. Create a group Palestine has poked Israel

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