Articles by Mike

Videos

Suicidal
An unseen classic from April 2000
In April 2000, Mike Thorpe made a rare stage appearance with Mat Urey at a local amateur dramatics group function to perform a song Posted on 07/09/2007

Big Wet Doggy!
Feast your minds on this video.
Holy spatchcocks! At less than one and a half of your earth minutes, a visualaudio banquet of brainflippery is displayed upon here. Posted on 07/09/2007

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Cartoons

Genetically Altered Animals
The Flaming Pistol presents...
The Flaming Pistol bring you a TOP SECRET document, that has been LEAKED to us by a SECRET government agent, with a DOSSIER of proposed genetic experiments.
Posted on 07/09/2007

Slipknot
No-one told you life was gonna be this way
It was morning in the house of slipknot. All was not well. "Fuck me, I'm all out of egg and cheese", "Corey! The Clown's shouting for breakfast again!".
Posted on 06/09/2007

Les Dennis
and his semi-transparent lobster shaped unicycle
"Good morning semi transparent lobser shaped unicycle.", "quack", "What a lovely day it is today. Honey, do you mind if we go on an adventure?"
Posted on 07/09/2007

Fdyhsfre!
A heartwarming story about seagulls.
"Bloody great, this glove, isn't it!?", "It's not bad I suppose...", "Eh? Where's the glove gone?", "I DON'T KNOW! I DIDN'T STEAL IT YOU TOSSER!"
Posted on 07/09/2007

Disembodied Eye
The travels of Disembodied Eye
In the World of Jzqxqqqf; Most of the people looked like people. Apart from one person. Mr Eye - The actual Disembodied Eye. Yes.
Posted on 07/09/2007

Suzie Hakni-Karrij
And Her Magical Racist Accordion
Suzie Hakni-Karrij was a very lucky lady, for she was the proud owner of a magical racist accordion from the planet "^". "Fucking honky bitch!"
Posted on 06/09/2007


 



Audio

Goldfish
Mikes Musical Oddity
This rather dashing electro-tune is intended as a satire. It's a pisstake. It's not meant to be taken seriously. Just listen. Don't take it literally.
Posted on 07/09/2007

Big Fucking Piss
Quite possibly the shittest song in the world. But it swears lots.
Hurrah! Childish and puerile swearing abound, as we present quite possibly the worst song in the world: Big Fucking Piss! Click the sweary image below to download.
Posted on 06/09/2007


Writings

Diana Mayonaises List of Lists.
IT IS ALL TRUE
HERE is a LIST of THINGS that are completely TRUE by DIANA MAYONNAISE.
Posted on 07/09/2007

The psycho guide to Birthday Parties
The Rev returns
Pop! Bang! Whee! No, it’s not a man clouting a wayward urchin , it’s the sound of the celebratations of a birthday party (or soree)!
Posted on 06/09/2007

Veterinary Surgery
A psychologically unsound persons guide.
After desecrating his grave, we found some more of the Rev's guides. Here's one NOW. By Reverend John Knickers and his jar full of skin.
Posted on 07/09/2007

Untitled As Yet 3
7 episodes of 'interesting' consequence.
John slumped back on the couch, sighing strongly. Completely at a loss for things to do, he lay there semi-conscious.
Posted on 06/09/2007

Untitled As Yet 2
7 episodes of 'interesting' consequence.
"John? John!? Stop pissing about John, where are you?" It was the day Dave had been dreading since he was twenty-five. The day he had watched from afar with frightened knowledge.
Posted on 06/09/2007

Untitled As Yet 1
7 Episodes of interesting consequence
"Fancy a brew?", "It is time.", "Time for what?", "The time of revealing is upon us.", "What?!", "I must now reveal to you my true identity.".
Posted on 06/09/2007

Things Ive Pushed Through Toast
The legendary and most visited article.
The legendary pictures of... well it is what it is... it's literally photgraphs of everyday objects that have been pushed through toast. We also had a competition...
Posted on 07/09/2007

How To Be An Unintentional Stalker
Freaking People Out For Fun
Last week, I was walking home from my girlfriend's house late at night, and there was this girl, about 16, 17 maybe 18 years old walking in the same direction.
Posted on 06/09/2007

Reverend Knickers Lost File 2
Guide to Acting
Lavvie! Daahling! Daddy!! This, my faithful readers (or serfs) is how actors greet each other. Yes I know. It’s stupid, but, the prerequisite of an actor is to be shit
Posted on 06/09/2007

Reverend Knickers Lost File 1
Guide to Music
We are happy to tell you all, yes "you" all – that we have been given a few "lost files" of Reverend John Knickers by the thieves that stole his old stuff.
Posted on 06/09/2007

Psychologically Unsound Guide to..
We've killed him off!
It is with great regret that we inform you that Team Fishcake's very own Reverend John Knickers has died. On June 24th at 7:23am, we hit him with a stick .
Posted on 07/09/2007

Psychologically Unsound Guide to..
...Money!
Daddy! You’ve bought me a bicycle! Hooray! Welcome back, my kindred children. You may have noticed a little someone else on this page! Yes, I met a lady on my holidays.
Posted on 07/09/2007

Psychologically Unsound Guide to..
...The Middle Class!
Air hair-lair peeple! The eleventh of my beautiful guides is here. One has become a middle clarss since the larst issue of the Team Fishcake.
Posted on 06/09/2007

Psychologically Unsound Guide to..
...Ice skating!
Yes, I know I was euthanised a few months ago, but I was brought back by the magic of the Eiffel Tower and it's swirling haze of rancid sewage.
Posted on 06/09/2007

Psychologically Unsound Guide to..
...Driving!
And welcome to my new guide! This year, it's a guide to driving a car. Driving is popular. More than one hundred people drive cars (or vehicals).
Posted on 06/09/2007

Psychologically Unsound Guide to..
...Cookery!
Bon Appetit! That is not English. This guide is though. "Bon Appetit" comes from the French phrase "Good Appetite" - the person saying it has a good appetite and wants foodstuffs.
Posted on 06/09/2007

Psychologically Unsound Guide to..
...Marriage!
Quite what I should say here, I am not sure, but the usual method of greeting is to say 'hello'. Hello. Over the course of the next few minutes I shall be teaching you.
Posted on 06/09/2007

Psychologically Unsound Guide to..
...Lying!
Hello there, big eyes! For you this issue, I have created a guide to how you can wriggle out of any situation in which you may find yourself in.
Posted on 06/09/2007

Psychologically Unsound Guide to..
...Decorating!
Here I am in my nice little cell (or room), doing lots of nice things like making baskets and things. I have also been allowed to decorate my living compartment.
Posted on 06/09/2007

Psychologically Unsound Guide to..
...Child Minding!
Greetings. Welcome to my wonderful home. In this issue I shall be advising you how to look after children. Children are stupid creatures.
Posted on 06/09/2007

Psychologically Unsound Guide to..
...Toilet Paper!
Welcome to the third instalment of my wonderful guides! They say that a finger of fudge is just enough to give your kids a treat. How could they possibly be so perverted?
Posted on 06/09/2007

Psychologically Unsound Guide to..
...Wardrobes!
So you've decided to spice up your grotty little pus-encrusted room with a bit of furniture have you? Why not get a wardrobe (or cupboard)?
Posted on 06/09/2007

Psychologically Unsound Guide to..
...Trees!
This strange looking thing here is what is known in the real world as a tree. In fact, in this picture there are two of them. Count them. One, Two!
Posted on 07/09/2007

Peter Kay Comedy Generator
Now you, too, can be as funny as Peter Kay
Everybody loves Peter Kay. His wonderful style of pointing out the obvious, his repeated telling of all of our all-time favourite gags, and his re-counts of the life of all notherners.
Posted on 07/09/2007

Mikes Medical Complaints
Find out about Mikes body cavity fun.
As medical disorders go, haemorrhoids is quite a “comedy” condition. Almost definitely because they’re on the bottom. The arse. The posterior, the behind.
Posted on 07/09/2007

Team Fishcake Employment Agency
Work. Do it.
SHED DWELLER - with sinister eyes required. Apply to Fundays Nursery. 0111 762 321. Unintelligible Sound maker wanted, must have own distorted vocals.
Posted on 06/09/2007

Happy Camp
Mikes diary of holiday hell.
Mid February 1998 a friend told me of his expedition to a certain holiday camp in Wales for a week. The way he described it, it made it sound relatively ok, so I decided I would give it a try.
Posted on 07/09/2007

Flat 134b
Amusing tale. With a lesson to be learnt. Or a choice to be rethought.
Scene: Morning. Interior. The lounge of a small-ish 3 bedroom student-type flat. Various film & music posters on the woodchip covered walls.
Posted on 06/09/2007

Dr. Volvohead
The startingly scatalogical adventures
One day, Dr Volvohead was visiting a particularly ill patient... "Ohh, fuck me, I'm dying for a big shit! Hello? Hurry up and answer! I need a big crap!".
Posted on 06/09/2007

Classified Ads
It's better than Ebay
Sandwich, chicken with salad and mayo, fully digested hence £2.00 for quick sale. Hovercraft, green, full of eels, 3yr extended guarantee... £2,355.50.
Posted on 06/09/2007

Nightmares About Ann Summers
And her infamous parties...
My friend gets a bit embarrassed by his actions and doesn't want to be associated with them... When I say his actions, I mean to say his "in-actions".
Posted on 06/09/2007



 
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