Articles by Mark Videos Mark hasn't produced any video content. Flash Mark hasn't produced any flash content. Audio The Toady Programme with Jon Humfris Click here to download a MP3 web broadcast of Jon Humfris' The Toady Programme. I will NOT use the 'P' word! Posted on 07/09/2007		Cartoons Mark hasn't produced any cartoon content Writings Fear and Loathing in Stockport Goody, Orwell, the BNP and women. Goody Gracious Me! Heat magazine have published an exclusive interview with Jade Goody in which she bemoans the end of her career in the aftermath of the Big Brother Bollywood Star Bullying Debacle Posted on 07/09/2007 Bad Advice for Children Cruelty in rhyme form. My friend is due to give birth in three months time and on her desk at work is a selection of nursery rhymes that she plans on singing to the child once she is born. Posted on 07/09/2007 Preconceived Morons Baa Baa wool sheep he Baa Baa Black Sheep story reared its head again, as it has done since I was a child. You know the story, a school in x has been banned from singing “Baa Baa Black sheep" Posted on 06/09/2007 Everyone is going protest crazy Anti-anti-anti-anti-anti Since I last spoke, it seems that this country has gone protest crazy. We have people protesting about cartoons, pensions, profane operas featuring chat show hosts... Posted on 06/09/2007 Those who are sadly... Goodnight from him. 2005 was a strange year. We lost a lot of people who we thought would never die. Ronnie Barker passed away, which has cut off a particularly irregular but extremely reliable source of income for me. Posted on 06/09/2007 George Galloway Lick-spittle. I am quite political, but I have never allowed my politics to be the sole or main way of judging someone. Obviously there are certain exceptions; ex-members of the Hitler Youth are obviously a no-no. Posted on 06/09/2007 A review of 2005 Mark talks about the past year The year kicks off with a conga starting at Lands End, finishing at John O Groats. By the end of it, there are 20,000 people joining in. Things get a bit messy when it goes through a Mr Taylor’s garden. Posted on 07/09/2007 Here in my car An embarassing but totally true story I received an important lesson this month in how you should never trust anybody with an embarrassing secret. Posted on 06/09/2007 Superman Is it a bird..... No. If there was one figure in popular culture who had more influence on shaping the generation of young minds whilst I was growing up, then it would have to be Superman. Posted on 07/09/2007 The Medusa Touch Everything I touch turns to.... “The Medusa Touch” is a film from 1978, starring Richard Burton and Lee Remick, in which Burton’s writer character, “Morlar” believes that he is responsible for all the disasters that occur in the world. Posted on 06/09/2007 Everybody wants to rule the world. Especially Mark. I have recently developed a slightly narcissistic streak and began to feel that perhaps things really would be better if I did run the country after all. Posted on 07/09/2007 Nailbomb 3 - Piers Pressure I'm starting with the man in The Mirror. The first scalp in Fleet Street was claimed recently, when the train-wreck that was the Mirror Abuse Photos Expose came to a scraping, grinding and shuddering halt. Posted on 07/09/2007 Peter Kay on the moon A leaked confidential document. Peter Kay is to make history by becoming the first comedian to travel to the moon. Kay, 30, who has recently celebrated the birth of his first baby is said to be “’reet proud.” Posted on 06/09/2007 Nailbomb 2 Burning bridges and naming names. These last few months have seen more people come forward and proudly announce themselves to be card carrying bigots. Posted on 07/09/2007 Spite Rant 3 Anti-PC Comics Since we've had many comedians which people describe as "Politically Correct", we've had traditional (bigoted) comics slithering out of the woodwork. Posted on 07/09/2007 Spite Rant 1 Charity TV is shit It seems that there are so many charity TV programmes around the world... but nothing ever happens. I had an idea for a charity event that would raise a lot of money... Posted on 06/09/2007 Mark Palmers Sanitation 14 Vacuous Bigots Every country has its army of vacuous bigots, ready to respond to any question with an unwavering pig ignorance which never ceases to despair me. Posted on 07/09/2007 Mark Palmers Sanitation 13 Paedophiles The government recently closed a loophole in the law which had existed, that made it easy for paedophiles and sex offenders to go to countries like Bangkok without their motives being called into question. Posted on 06/09/2007 Mark Palmers Sanitation 12 War The war was a foregone conclusion from the start. George Bush wanted it, so it was going to happen. It is as simple as… that. Posted on 07/09/2007 Mark Palmers Sanitation 11 Mortification Being caught masturbating is one of the most excruciatingly embarrassing things that can befall you. There is, however, something which happened to me which is all the more mortifying. Posted on 07/09/2007 Mark Palmers Sanitation 10 Diary Miskeeping Due to my ever increasingly hectic schedule, I have taken to keeping a diary with me at all times. Not a secret diary. Not a diary from which I can recount Memoirs and then sell. Posted on 07/09/2007 Mark Palmers Sanitation 9 Richard Littlejohn Just under a year ago a record number of people descended upon London to stand in line and circle the Queen Mother’s coffin. Posted on 07/09/2007 Mark Palmers Sanitation 8 Myra Hindley, A Tribute I find it quite interesting. In the week that Diana died, Mother Teresa decided to pop her little sandals. It was almost as though God wanted to create a nice little dichotomy. Posted on 06/09/2007 Mark Palmers Sanitation 7 Life is a lottery Another drastic change in my life is that I have started buying the Daily Mail. Yes, I have delved into the world of blind reactionary hate and “bunny fascism”. Posted on 06/09/2007 Mark Palmers Sanitation 6 The moon is not a balloon Since writing my last column I have undergone something of a Laurence Llwelyn style makeover in terms of some of my beliefs. Posted on 06/09/2007 Mark Palmers Sanitation 5 Political Correctness Corrected An argument that seems to be becoming increasingly fashionable is the idea that you can now no longer say anything in public without some do-gooder leaping all over you. Posted on 07/09/2007 Mark Palmers Sanitation 4 Rancid Crime Conspiracy Crime, it would appear, is everywhere. If we were to believe everything we read in the papers, then leaving the house and making our way to the shops is fraught with unknown dangers. Posted on 06/09/2007 Mark Palmers Sanitation 3 Our Forward Thinking World Hey, did anybody watch The Sopranos the other night? You must have seen it, all you E4 whores out there will have seen it a good year ago. Posted on 06/09/2007 Mark Palmers Sanitation 2 Kebabs and wanking comdey There are some good comedians out there but we now have a glut of what I like to call “Kebabs N Wanking” comedians. A bunch of Loaded-reading, trendy bottled beer drinking, designer clad chancers. Posted on 06/09/2007 Mark Palmers Sanitation 1 Comic Relief, relief Earlier this year saw the recurrence of the phenomenon known as Comic Relief. Celebrities donned silly costumes, set themselves up and took part in a four hour marathon of average entertainment. Posted on 06/09/2007 Nailbomb 1 Evans above, Interesting fact and Race Test Apparently Chris Evans is still having trouble finding a way back into the world of popular entertainment. His latest Channel 4 series Boys And Girls did not entirely set audiences alight. Posted on 07/09/2007
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