This fixture was not an unusual one, Buntford Academicals and Smaganooska Rampers had played in the cup last year, so there was the usual level of friendly rivalry between the fans and board members of each club, in this, the amateur football league in the South East of Kent. But this time Buntford were expected to win. Smaganooska had beaten them in the previous meeting thanks to a dubious penalty, awarded by amateur Referee, Peter Zooom and with him now retired after a yoghurt accident, the amateur football federation supplied Dougal Blew to officiate.

And so onto progress. Imagine an article by us what you could actually SMELL, or SEE or in this case HEAR!

Spock was cooking beans. Doctor Who was wanking furiously into some soup and Blake was trying to slice a lobster. This was the world's busiest science-fiction kitchen.

"This fucking thing keeps biting me!" said the curly-haired former commander of seven criminals trying to escape from a glamorous sci-fi baddie in the 70's.

The teacher walked briskly into the room. For a summer day, she was horrendously overdressed.

Timmy giggled as his young imagination picked up on the fact that Miss Bartholemew was dressed in a white jacket, with a yellow shirt underneath. Also, her trousers were a light brown colour.

She looked like an egg!

A Mr John Presentation of pure science friction type story with ending and matching action sequences. Right on.