Rev John Knickers discusses false truths!
Hello there, big eyes! For you this issue, I have created a guide to how you can wriggle out of any situation in which you may find yourself in.

By Reverend John Knickers and his diahorrea-style drink.

Hello there, big eyes! For you this issue, I have created a guide to how you can wriggle out of any situation in which you may find yourself in. I have complied a list of the most common questions, and lies you can tell. However, before reading my helpful handy hints, you must obseve the anthem for the Society of Liars. This anthem is called "Truth"

TRUTH

I was the president of the United States,
I am the only bloke who never urinates,
I am invisible, and I am the queen,
I'm the inventor of the modern tangerine,
I'm made of dynamite, and I have died three times,
This song does not exist, and nothing in it rhymes.

Lies, lies, lies,
Lies, lies, lies,
Lies, lies, lies.

You cannot hear my voice because you have no ears,
I'm friends with Jesus Christ, he trims his beard with shears,
I'm very popular, I always tell the truth,
I'm 17 days old, and my shed's name is Ruth,
I am a walnut and I wrote all Shakespeare's plays,
I'm everybody that you see on Songs of Praise,

Lies, lies, lies,
Lies, lies, lies,
Lies, lies, lies.

Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat had a red and green rat...

I swallow razor blades, my mother is a shoe,
In 1995 the sky was never blue,
Light bulbs are edible, and carrots rule the earth,
Hitler was loveable, and I've just given birth,
I'm omnipresent, and my lungs are back to front,
I finish sentences.....

Lies, lies, lies,
Lies, lies, lies,
Lies, lies, lies.

It's time to start the song.

Liiiiiiesssss....
(no it isn't)

Now you may proceed into the brainal consumption of my menagerie of big sweaty lies.

Reverend John Knickers

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