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The "mas" in Christmas means "
...and don't I know it.
One of the things I tend to do every other year is volunteer to work over Xmas (yes, I know abbreviations are bad but I'll be buggered if I'm going to write Christmas in full every time) - the job I do requires a presence 24-7, so someone's got to do it. Everyone else has got family or kids or whatever to deal with, plus it's money for old rope.
As an upshot of this, I didn't have the traditional Xmas lunch thing. Instead, I popped round to see my dear mater, who furnished me with the necessary gubbins to create my very own microwave-at-work Xmas dinner. My family aren't hugely traditional either, so no turkey - instead, I was supplied with a truly biblical amount of beef. All the usual addenda too, but it was the heroic pile of cow that threw me, so much so that I weighed it.
Just under two pounds. For you metric people, that's pretty much a kilo.
So, we have a statistically significant percentage of a cow waiting for me to devour it, and this wasn't your typical beef - this was supremely high quality. Let me try to explain...
You know how everyone has a mental picture of what the Sahara is like? Endless sand, unbroken as far as the eye can see? That image tends to get destroyed the first time people actually see a desert - there are piles of rocks, tufts of exceptionally hardy plants and what have you, and beef tends to be a bit like that. You imagine unspoilt meat, but you always get the bitty bits getting in the way and destroying the illusion. This beef wasn't like that. It was the Beef Sahara of your mind.
And I ate it all.
According to my recollection of human biology, food remains in the stomach for about 4 hours, so in theory you should stop feeling full by then. I still felt full 18 hours later, and by then the first mouthfuls were starting to make their presence felt in an entirely different area of my digestive tract. I have never felt so full for so long in my LIFE.
It was spectacularly good beef, though.
- Posted on
28/12/2007 at 02:18
- Comments (0)
Hello Mother
Ooh, look what Stu did, making everything almost as shiny and new as the underside of the Silver Surfer's scrotum!
It's been a while, hasn't it, folks? Thanks for bearing with us while we found as many excuses for not actually producing anything remotely resembling content as we could - I mean, worked tirelessly to make the site all up to date and stuff. Sorry, Mike, don't beat me.
Now I have a blog, I'm going to have to put stuff in it. Watch this space...
PS. Props to Stu for the webbery you are now witnessing with all your filthy eyes.
- Posted on
02/09/2007 at 21:34
- Comments (0)
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