Yes! The aforementioned demi-webzine is definitely a threat to the aforementioned four letter word.

"So what do you want me to do about the aforementioned statement?" I hear you ask.

Well you can do something about it. The chocolate bar of prevention is most definitely edible and I am offering you a bite. All that you have to do is carry out the following twelve simple guidelines to deantidiscybersanitorism and you will be well onto the dual-carriageway of saving your lives. Do you understand? I hope so, for your sake....

DO THE FOLLOWING OR DIE!!

• 1: Invite your best friend round for breakfast on a Thursday and give him/her/it a mouldy fig roll to eat.
  
  2: Type webmaster@yahoo.com with speed and speak to a man called "F," in a silly voice.
  
  3: Recite "Kumbaya my lord" all the way through in Chinese whilst standing on your nose and juggling eight pogo sticks with your testicularatationalities (or your husband's/boyfriend's/father's)..... backwards.
  
  4: Eat your sofa.
  
  5: Grab the box of a Dire Straits CD and kiss the spine whilst gargling eighteen dogs in the back of a Hillman Avenger.
  
  6: Put a sign up that reads "Kettering chin-scrottler facial monk hold that thought rrrRRRAAAACCCKKKAAAIII!! 'Jonathan, Tidy your room!' gobble nobble throbble wobble EEEK! NURSE! 'Shut that dog' strawberry tarpaulin el me i she masel dolphin hargreaves stroganoff MOOOOOO! chug chug hng hng rrrrrRRRRrrrrr wensleydale blabidi blabidi blabidi blabidi caramel SQUAWK!water closet and that teabag chicken's lip wayewayewayewaye dodecaHEdron voyager skylight PARP! Glibba glibba glibba glibba lawnmower _{'pencil case'} dinosaur allegro 'William Labov?' fritcake jamboree bumpkin ole! eyelash windscreen jaffa-cake WHY ME? garage egg-whisk OH SIT DOWN catamaran beard binoculars why don't you noxious gorfeldoskit dormicksloptery trout AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHH!! No teeth!! DAMN!" with blu-tack.
  
  7: Take that sign down again.
  
  8: Smash your pet's legs with a rather hardened piece of your own poo.
  
  9: Play sumo wrestling with a whale and LOSE ON PURPOSE (You MUST lose this or else all your efforts up to now will be worthless!!)
  
  10: Do the dance to 'Saturday Night' by Whigfield before killing yourself and hiring a necromancer to bring you back to life.
  
  11: Play monopoly with Donald Trump's face.
  
  12: Repeat the process 1653.9 times a day for eighteen years.

If you have followed these guidelines to the letter then you may have just saved your own life. Well done!! (but you still need to do something about that bad under-arm Odour).

ANYONEWHOCANCOMPLETETHEAFOREMENTIONEDTASKSCANCLAIMTHEIRPRIZE
IFTHEYCOMETOTHEPENTAGONWITHPROOFTHATTHEYHAVEDONESOWELLDONEYOUWIN!!!!