phrasebook

English	Pronunciation	English
Could you tell me how to get to the railway station, please?	Kud yoo tel mee haow too get too thha ray-il-ouey stay-tee-on, pleez?	Could you tell me how to get to the railway station, please?
Where is the nearest public convenience?	Ouair iz thee nee-ar-ist pub-lik kon-vee-nee-ence?	Where is the nearest public convenience?
My mother would like to meet you. She has heard a lot about your work.	Mai muth-er oud laik to meet yoo. Shee haz hird a lott abaout yoor ouirk.	My mother would like to meet you. She has heard a lot about your work.
Please would you take your hands off my pet Badger?	Pleez oud yoo taik yoor hannds off mai pett Bad-ja?	Please would you take your hands off my pet Badger?
Please, Mr Veterinary Surgeon, my Badger's paws look frightfully sore. I was wondering if you could be so kind as to look at them. I have particularly noticed that the left one at the back is quite red, and I may have actually seen speckles of blood on the carpet too. Please save Colin, as he is the only being that loves me.	Pleez, miss-ta veta-rinn-erry sir-jon, mai Bad-ja's poars luk frite-full-ee soar. Ai ouozz oun-da-ring iff yoo cudd bee soa kaind az too lukk at thhem. Ai hav par-tick-yoo-lelly noh-tissd thhat thhe lefft ouonn att thhe bak iz kwait redd, and Ai mai hav ak-tyou-elly seen spe-cals of bludd on thhe car-pit too. Pleez saiv 'Colin', az hee iz thee oan-lee bee-ing thhat luvs mee.	Please, Mr Veterinary Surgeon, my Badger's paws look frightfully sore. I was wondering if you could be so kind as to look at them. I have particularly noticed that the left one at the back is quite red, and I may have actually seen speckles of blood on the carpet too. Please save Colin, as he is the only being that loves me.
Hello. I would like to enrol my Badger in singing lessons.	Hello. Ai oudd laik too enn-role mai Bad-ja inn sin-ging less-uns.	Hello. I would like to enrol my Badger in singing lessons.
Please do not pull that too far away from my body, it hurts after a little while, and the healing takes a long time.	Pleez doo nott pull thhat too farr a-ouai fromm mai boddi, itt hirts aff-ta a lit-el ouail, annd thhe hee-ling taeks a long taim.	Please do not pull that too far away from my body, it hurts after a little while, and the healing takes a long time.
My genitals are aching. I do not know why. It may have something to do with me repeatedly bashing them against a rosebush, but that would not nescessarily result in not inconsiderable amounts of pus spurting copiously from welts on the side of my right testicle.	Mai jen-i-tuls arr ay-king. Ai doo nott noa ouai. It mae hav sum-thing too doo ouith mee ri-peet-ed-lee bash-ing thhem a-gayn-sst a roas-bussh, butt thhat oud nott nes-ess-erry-lee risult inn nott inn-con-sida-rable amm-ounts ov pus spir-ting coa-pe-us-lee fromm ouelts onn thhe said ov mai rait tess-tee-cul.	My genitals are aching. I do not know why. It may have something to do with me repeatedly bashing them against a rosebush, but that would not nescessarily result in not inconsiderable amounts of pus spurting copiously from welts on the side of my right testicle.
Why did that large woman punch me in the chest when I asked her why she never had plastic surgery?	Ouai didd thhat laaj ouoo-mun punssh mee inn thhe chesst ouen ai assed hir ouai shee nev-a hadd plass-tick sir-gi-ree?	Why did that large woman punch me in the chest when I asked her why she never had plastic surgery?
Goodbye world. No one likes me, so I may as well just end it all. By the time you read this note, I will be gone. Probably to hell knowing all the shitty things I've done. Leaving you behind, mum and dad, I know will make you upset, but it is really the only way out. With debts mounting up, my house being re-posessed, Carol leaving me, Mike dying of a heroin overdose, being attacked four times, and losing my job all within the space of a month, this life has become too much for me. Please try and live your lives as normal as possible. Remember I will always love you, 'mummy and daddy'. Unfortunately I see no way out of this fucking situation. I have taken two bottles of paracetamol washed down with a bottle of vodka, and can feel my body shaking now. Look after little Robert for me. See you in the next life.	Gud-bai ouirld. Noa ouonn laiks mee, soa ai mae az ouell jusst ennd itt oarl. Bai thhe taim yoo reed thiss noat, ai ouill bee gonn. Prob-u-blee too hell noe-ing oarl thhe shhitt-ee thhingz aiv dunn. Lee-ving yoo bee-haind, mumm annd dadd, ai noa ouill maek yoo up-sett, butt itt iz ree-lee thee oanly ouae out. Ouith detts maounting upp, mai haouse bee-ing re-poz-est, Ca-rul lee-ving mee, Maik dai-ing ov a he-roa-in oa-va-doass, bee-ing att-act foor taims, annd loo-zing mai jobb oarl oui-thinn thhe spayss ov a munth, thiss laif haz bee-cumm too mutch foar mee. Pleez trai annd liv yoar laivz az noar-mul az po-sibul. Ree-mem-ba ai ouill allouaez luv yoo, 'mu-mee annd da-dee'. Unn-foar-choo-natt-lee ai see noa ouae aout ov thiss si-choo-ae-tee-on. Ai hav tae-ken too bo-tuls ov pa-ra-see-tu-mol ouasht daown ouith a bo-tul ov vod-ker, annd cann feel mai bod-ee shae-king naow. Lukk aff-ta li-tul Ro-but foar mee. See yoo inn thhe necst laif.	Goodbye world. No one likes me, so I may as well just end it all. By the time you read this note, I will be gone. Probably to hell knowing all the shitty things I've done. Leaving you behind, mum and dad, I know will make you upset, but it is really the only way out. With debts mounting up, my house being re-posessed, Carol leaving me, Mike dying of a heroin overdose, being attacked four times, and losing my job all within the space of a month, this life has become too much for me. Please try and live your lives as normal as possible. Remember I will always love you, 'mummy and daddy'. Unfortunately I see no way out of this fucking situation. I have taken two bottles of paracetamol washed down with a bottle of vodka, and can feel my body shaking now. Look after little Robert for me. See you in the next life.
I plead not guilty for the accusation of performing an act of bestiality on a badger. I admit to having a fondness for the mammal, but that fondness does not stretch to fornication with a badger. Anymore.	Ai pleed nott gil-tee foar thee ac-yoo-sae-tee-un of pe-foar-ming ann act ov bess-tee-all-i-tee onn a bad-ja. Ai add-mitt too ha-ving a fonnd-ness foar thhe mam-ull, butt thhat duz nott stretsh too foar-nee-cay-ti-onn ouith a bad-ja. En-ee-moar.	I plead not guilty for the accusation of performing an act of bestiality on a badger. I admit to having a fondness for the mammal, but that fondness does not stretch to fornication with a badger. Anymore.