A break from our usual trip to facts-ville, as we perform a one-off show:
Newsbeat! The musical!
Headlines tonight!
Headlines tonight!
Headlines tonight!
Headlines tonight!
Chris De Burgh punched in the face,
by the lady in red,
(Will Shakespeare sacrificed, to the god of the dead)
Residents of Stoke-On-Trent finally admit
That the place they're living in, (Is a pile of shit)
And top scientists declare that using razor-blades to scratch
your eyes...
Sends you blind!
Sends you blind!
Sends you blind!
Sends you blind!
|
(A stupid professor of English from Dunkirk University has made history by inventing the first ever infinitely soggy pork pie. He said he got the idea for the invention after watching too many violent programmes on television. He has won second prize in the 'Good Inventions of The Month' competition, held each week in the fortnightly magazine: Fishing Bimonthly. He was beaten to first prize by a man who has invented a machine which can turn any weavable material into a perfect replica of Liza Goddard's face.) |
'It isn't easy being me,' claims a
ginger-bread man
(80 years of genetic research turns up a Boy George fan)
Brian Glover, the Hovis man, is threatened with a clout
Unless he says his famous catch-phrase: (Bread with nowt taken
out)
And top scientists declare that using sandpaper to clean your
eyes
Sends you blind!
Sends you blind!
Sends you blind!
Sends you blind!
Lunatic climbs into quantum goose
enclosure, at Chester zoo
(Devon man killed by semi-liquid wet things, shaped like poo)
A High Court judge in Belgium declares, 'No more masturbating for
me'
Before sitting himself down to a (nice hot cup of tea)
And top scientists declare that using chlorine to bathe your eyes
Sends you blind!
Sends you blind!
Sends you blind!
Sends you blind!
Starring:
Denvil Arnold
Mr. D. Arnold
D. M. Arnold
D Mark-Arnold
Mark Arnold
Denvil Mark Arnold
Music by:
Mark D. Arnold
Cameras:
D.A.
Den Arnold
D'Arnold
Producer:
Arnold Denvil
Director:
Dernold Arvil
