It's me! Your favourite uncle, Uncle John Knickers! You may have noticed that I have had a few alterations made to my body. Yes! I have had six of my seven legs replaced with food! My other leg is staying as it was - a big blue dot made out of mould.

From left to right, we have - Celia the sausage who is always loving herself in ways in which I can't imagine, Graham the sweetcorn electrician, Robert the farting cake, Chris the egg who laughs a lot, Bluedot the blue dot, Bradley the spinning toast, and Michael the burger that explodes whenever a penny is thrown at a second-rate ex-newsreader.

Anyway, I am here to introduce my new 'cyber-film' - FROG LETTUCE. Set in the distant cyber-future, it concentrates on a cyber-neighbourhood with a cyber-big cyber-problem. So click on the dead cyber-dog to proceed with the cyber-story.